Going back for seconds

This is the most absolute worst thing I could imagine ever doing. Well. That’s legal.. ;o But that’s a whole other blog, I’m sure. The thing I find that irritates me beyond comprehension is when teachers tell me to go back and check my answers, resulting in changing some answers because I second guess myself. In PSYC 107, we learn that sometimes decision making is best when you go with your gut instinct. I agree with this. It so far has resulted in pleasantness for myself and probably others.

However, on Thursday, I’m sitting in my psychology class. Fidgeting as I rehearse my notes over and over (and over and over..) in my mind as I wait to receive my test. As the professor is nearing my row, he raises his voice to remind the class to be sure to go back and check our answers once we are finished just to ensure we’ve fully understood the questions he’s asked of us. Omen of Death. DEATH. Do you know what this means!? I’m paranoid. Freaking the f out. So I go back and make sure I “understand” his questions. Which ends up with me changing answers! Fff. The worst possible thing I could have done, I’m sure.

It’s so not fair that I’m so amazing at convincing myself of anything if I try hard enough. I could talk myself into most answers given on the test, which always worries me.

Now to to go off on a tangent. While it does not have anything to do with second guessing myself, it does have to do with my psychology class. My prof taught us about state-dependent retrieval. This is that while you study in one state of mind/surroundings, it is much easier to take a test in the same state. Hence the name.

So I’m chillaxin in my seat, still going over my notes, as the professor turns the lights on. Not once in class have we taken notes with the lights on. Immediately I go into a panic. And I explain to the person beside me that this is just not fair on our profs part. The guy beside me informs me that I should tell the professor just that. I wanted to, so so much. But I couldn’t. I’m far too shy. And what if he got angry?! Or upset?! What if he sabotaged my grades!? In the end, I didn’t. But I really should have. Or have written him a note. Just to let him come to be aware of the fact that he wasn’t even following his teachings.

I know in my last blog I talked about the calmness in my mind. It’s disappearing quickly. There’s pressure building. Dislikedislikedislike. For now though, I’ll go back to relaxing.

xoxo, the little birdy.

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